Let's Get Rid of the Word 'swagger'

Swagger...It use to sound nice. Five months ago i walked into a hair school to get an old school haircut called the 'fatback'. See, i had recently cut my dreadlocks after ten years of growth only to find out that the hairstyle I use to sport was outdated. Not only that but no one knew or remembered how to cut it. I quickly learned that if you weren't coming in the barber shop for a simple trim or an illegal substance, you were going to pay over twenty bucks. hell no.
So, i walk into the hair school and the best barber they have, who happens to still wear a gold grill, asks me where im from. I say, "California." He says, "oh yeah i figured it was somewhere other than here. I could tell when you walked in. You have a different kind of swagger than most cats around here." Swagger?

Later this year i went to a buffet restaurant called "Ryan's" Here you can order steak how you like it as often as you want. All you have to do is walk up to the fella behind the glass and ask. At some point in the evening a group of overweight brothers like myself came in off a bus or large van and came in for one thing. Steak, baby. So as the Harlem posse is standing in line waiting on well done(burnt) steak, I pop over and ask for a steak that is medium rare. No point in waisting good meat, right? Curly turns to me and asks, "where you from, dog?" "Uh, California." " Man, the way you ordered that steak, you got a different swagger then others around here." Thank you swagger!!

I hate swagger...

The Fall of the American Newspaper

Today I received a phone call from an out of state number that wanted to confirm that I was one Thomas Price of 2118 East Drive and that I had in the past and was currently receiving the Clarion Ledger Newspaper on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Once I confirmed the info, the lady offered me the rest of the week for no extra charge until some undetermined date. My response was "What's the catch?"to which she replied, "we just want to thank you for subscribing to the paper".

Now, what threw me off was not that last sentence in its entirety. Hell, papers and magazines have been pulling this scam for decades. They give you a little taste of something and then take it away or leave it for some nice hard cash. This is, in fact, just one of the reasons why Comcast and its affiliates are going to hell. Don't tease me with two weeks of "Dexter" and then snatch it away Saturday afternoon with no warning...No hello, goodbye...Nothing... Anyway, what stood out from that sentence was her saying "...subscribing to THE paper. Not OUR paper.

Now perhaps she made a mistake and said that out of exhaustion from calling yet another worthless customer hell bent on making it through the day without having to give out their personal info and listen to someone beg them for continuous service or whatever. But maybe this Freudian slip came out because she recognized what's happening in America today. We actually like this internet thing. We prefer the intangible. I knew newspapers were a dying product and the even journalists are a dying breed, what with all the Tom, Dick, and Harry's running around blogging and stuff. Not very professional, this blogging thing, you know.

I guess me and the other five hundred old people in Jackson are going to support this paper. Why not. I like the comics.

Her First day off of Christmas Break

8am December 22, 2008
her: The daycare says they don't owe us any money even though Maddy is out for two weeks.
me: oh well...
her: That's it.
me: ok. bye
9:43am
her: The Tv is all fuzzy and wide. All the channels look like this.
me: it's the tv ratio.
her: ...what?
me: grab the silver remote and push the lower right button. HD Zoom button.
her: oh, I see it. Thanks.
me: No problem. Bye
11:03am
maddy: hi daddy!...I can't find the dust pan!
me: Oh no! What are you doing sweety?
maddy: daddy, we can't find it! I have to sweep.
me: Did mommy have you call to ask me where the dust pan is? That is awful.
maddy: ok daddy. talk to you later.
me: by love...and mommy...